


Sprouting

by fancywaffles



Series: An Azure Dawn [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Asexual Annette Fantine Dominic, Bonding, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Gen, Introspection, Light Angst, My Unit | Byleth Has Emotions, Pining, Pre-Gronder Dimitri, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26414971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fancywaffles/pseuds/fancywaffles
Summary: As Byleth prepares for the fight at Gronder, she takes note of how much everyone has changed in the five years she missed. After being dragged to a 'girl's night out' on the terrace, Byleth starts to think about how much and how little has changed for her when it comes to Dimitri.(or, this was supposed to be a cute girls night out and turned into an introspection on losing time)
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth, My Unit | Byleth & Everyone
Series: An Azure Dawn [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1654411
Comments: 6
Kudos: 73





	Sprouting

**Author's Note:**

> A prequel of sorts for [A Cold Spring](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22855660)

_The icy winds of the Oghma Mountains have begun to scatter, and the verdant fields once again spring to life across Fódlan, heralding the start of a new year. As they celebrate the dawning year, the people pray that they may realize their full potential, just as a tiny sprout hopes to one day grow into a great tree._

Byleth leaned over a map of Fódlan, stretched out over the small table in the Knight’s Hall and dangling off the edge. Byleth supposed it would have been easier to examine this in their temporary war room on the larger table, but Gilbert and Rodrigue were starting to give her a headache. It wasn’t entirely their fault. Byleth was five years behind on everything and her mercenary work didn’t perfectly translate to leading troops out into a battlefield during a war.

Even a battlefield she’d already fought at and won. She steadied herself with her hand and leaned farther over the map hoping to glean useful information. Some indication of the changes the land could have incurred under five years of war. They needed to be better prepared. She needed to be better prepared.

“Hey Professor,” said Sylvain over her shoulder. 

Byleth didn’t look up. “Felix is in the Dining Hall.”

He cleared his throat in a slight indication of surprise. “I’m not asking… well actually that is good to know. But! I wouldn’t waste the time of such a perfectly preserved beauty such as yourself on—”

Byleth turned her head from the map and her gaze up to Sylvain. 

He chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck, ending the flirtatious affectation that seemed to be more instinct than anything else at this point. “I was wondering what you were doing? Seems like better work for the war room or the library?”

Byleth pushed herself up from the table and straightened up. “Did you need something?”

Sylvain shook his head. “No. I was passing by and overcome with curiosity.” He grinned. “And avoiding a girl.”

Byleth ignored the second part. “I’m trying to get a better idea of how Gronder Field will look if we have to engage.” They still hadn’t heard back from the Alliance and even if Charon’s troops arrived in enough time, they were down on numbers compared to the Empire. 

Sylvain leaned over to look at the map, squinting down at it. “And you’re going to check a map for that.” He looked up again. “You don’t remember us winning the Battle of the Eagle and Lion?” His smile was fake. “Hopefully next week’s encounter works out the same.”

“Landscapes change in five years,” Byleth said simply. It was hard to feel embarrassed about it when it was only Sylvain and not the Knights of Seiros expecting her to not miss a step. Part of her suspected she’d only gotten away with it for this long, because their focus was on Dimitri and he was...

Sylvain tapped his chin, humming in thought. “Why don’t you check a farmer’s almanac? That’d have up to date information on weather changes.”

Or it would have previous patterns, which might be as useful. Her relief was enough to automatically lift her lips. “That is a great idea. Thank you.”

Sylvain shrugged off the praise and looked away. “Yeah, well. Ashe might have them, he’s been keeping up with the latest book intakes.” 

Byleth nodded and rolled up the map, before he offered to put it away for her. She wasn’t sure what he was trying to do with that offer, but decided to let him. She had enough to do. Besides, it was Sylvain, he was probably trying to avoid training or a girl. At least he hadn’t changed too much. She appreciated that about Sylvain. 

Ashe was in the library, books stacked to his side and more than happy to help, as always. “It’s been kind of a mess sorting through all of it, but at least it’s something to do.”

Byleth nodded, helping him shift books around until he found an almanac from two years ago. She took it gratefully and sat down to pour over the details. If she could get an idea of what the weather was like this time of year, maybe it would help with their engagement. Not knowing the terrain and how it was affected by the cool mist not dissipating in the air was a vulnerability they couldn’t afford.

Ashe helped her look. He was more confident now and she liked seeing it. He was also taller than her now. She tried not to let the difference bother her. It wasn’t so much the height but the fact that it reminded her that she’d missed the last five years while he grew into it. At least Ashe was much the same in friendliness and attitude. 

The hour grew late and when Ashe pointed this out, Byleth told him to get food and take a break. He tried to insist she take one herself and she promised she would. If it was true or not would depend on how far she got in her research.

Doing research as fast as possible on a subject she’d never known right before she needed to use it was reminding her of being a Professor. Her father had caught her asleep in the library more than once, trying to learn the next several lessons before she had to teach them. He’d teased her about it and suggested letting one of the ‘brats’ do the talking so she could nod along and then offer input as they went. Her lips lifted again at the thought, it had been good advice. 

She tried not to wonder if he’d have been different after five years too. 

The candle had burned down by the time Byleth realized she’d stayed longer than she meant. She had enough notes to put together a battle contingency at least. They’d need a few scenarios depending on weather, terrain, and whether or not they had Claude’s support. She stuffed the notes under her arm and went to the Dining Hall to eat, giving nods and listening whenever someone reached out to her and needed an ear.

Byleth put the notes away in her room and decided to head to the Training Grounds to clear her mind. She’d be better able to put together a plan when she worked off some of the restless energy she always got from sitting too long. 

Unsurprisingly Felix was there. Another thing that hadn’t changed too much. There was a hardness and weariness to him that hadn’t been as sharp before, but Byleth suspected she knew the reason. 

“Haven’t seen you here all day,” Felix said, almost an accusation.

Byleth shrugged and picked up a practice sword, facing off with him. “I’m here now if you want to spar.”

That got her the smallest shift of his lips upwards and they spent the next half hour sparring. Felix had improved tenfold in the time that had passed. Even if she had nothing to do with it and it was likely from his own dedication to training and having to utilize his skills in combat, she still felt proud. 

Felix was frowning at her. He was also breathing a little heavy. He’d almost bested her that time. “What is that face?”

“I wasn’t aware my face had changed,” Byleth said.

He ignored her. “Sylvain said you were planning next week’s advance.”

Byleth nodded, wiping the sweat soaked hair off her face. “An attempt to.”

“Do you agree with the boar and think we’ll be facing the Alliance as well as the Empire?” He asked.

She wondered how long he’d been wanting to ask that. They’d discussed the likelihood weeks ago. “No,” she said. “I can’t see why Claude or the Alliance would have any reason to attack us. The Empire has been advancing into their territory as well. It’d be strategically unsound to refuse the help.”

“Tch. That doesn’t mean they won’t. Or that the boar won’t rush into the middle of things again—you heard that the Emperor might be leading it. Nothing matters to him but her.”

Byleth put her practice blade away. “I’m trying to prepare for all scenarios. No matter what I think.”

Felix scoffed again, but left it at that. 

She hadn’t risen to his bait. It had become impossible to discuss Dimitri with Felix. She also hated discussing him with anyone else, because at least half the time Felix was right and they pretended not to see that there was a problem. Dimitri had absolutely no sense of self-control or self-preservation on the battlefield. Each battle was another rush into violence where he didn’t even have a thought for his own blind spots and vulnerabilities.

 _We're the same, you and I._ He’d silenced her with that at the meeting. It wasn’t the same, but Byleth remembered how she’d felt when they knew where her father’s killer was. 

Byleth wondered how she would have fared if it had taken her five years to track the murderer down. She wasn’t sure she liked to think about it. She didn’t like to think about how much Dimitri had changed in five years either, but Felix had brought him up. She found herself, as she often did, headed to the Cathedral. 

There were more people praying than normal this month. Start of a new season meant renewal. Byleth couldn’t help but think that they were praying to a Goddess who couldn’t listen. Maybe if she hadn’t rushed on her own impulse to revenge, Sothis still could have.

Dimitri stood vigil where he usually did. Byleth had approached him more times than she could count. Always with a hope that this time he’d respond with more than an offhanded threat, a dismissal, or stony silence. 

She didn’t feel up to it today, but watched anyway. Maybe she was keeping vigil too. 

Byleth felt Dedue’s presence before he came into her line of sight and stood next to her. She’d thought for a moment when they’d seen him on the bridge that maybe Dimitri would…

“Ashe said you were looking for almanacs,” Dedue said.

Byleth nodded. “Terrain changes.”

“You are trying to catch up on what you lost in the last five years,” Dedue said.

She felt her lips turn up again and glanced sideways at him. “Is it obvious?”

“No,” he said, returning her small smile. “I believe most people are too preoccupied to observe that closely.” 

“Can’t blame them,” Byleth said, looking at Dimitri’s back. His posture was terrible, she’d been so surprised with how much taller and broader he’d grown, but part of her worried the broadness was only that cloak. “Did he eat today?” she asked.

“Earlier,” Dedue said. “I could not convince him to rest, however.”

“You’ve already done more than most of us could,” Byleth said, a little relieved. “But don’t spend the entire night hovering.”

“I could say the same to you,” Dedue said, although he said with some approval.

She didn’t know how to feel about that. Byleth turned towards Dedue and examined the new marks on his face. He held himself differently. She wondered how much the last five years had changed him too, but in the respect of keeping things close to his chest, he was much the same.

“The Dining Hall is preparing a theme,” Dedue said.

“The Spice Festival,” Byleth said. It had smelled good all week in the kitchens as they prepped. She was going to make sure she made time to go to the Dining Hall properly tomorrow. “Are you on kitchen duty?” she asked.

Dedue shook his head. “No, although I would enjoy sharing a meal with you, if you do not already have other engagements.”

“I’d like that,” Byleth said, smiling. She usually tried to eat with at least one of her former students, if only to retain some familiarity from what still felt like months ago.

They eventually left Dimitri be, there was nothing to be done if he’d eaten and Byleth didn’t feel like being rebuffed when she offered simple suggestions like, perhaps you should sleep.

Everyone kept assuming _she_ could fix it—and she was trying, but—

Byleth nearly ran into someone, but stopped herself in time. The girl was familiar, one of their intakes from the last battle. She’d been helping around the Monastery. Byleth hadn’t caught her name yet.

She smiled at Byleth and looked behind her to where Dimitri was standing. “His Highness certainly does have a lot of people watching out for him.”

If only Dimitri would notice that. “Yes. I’m sorry, did you need something?” Byleth asked.

The girl shook her head. “No, I was only praying, but I thought it was nice that there were at least four people who came to watch him today.”

Byleth wondered who the other two were today. Likely—though he’d never admit it—one of them was Felix. “Are you settling in all right?” Byleth asked.

The girl smiled at her and tugged one of her pigtails. “Yes, everyone has been very accommodating. I am thankful that I have a chance to get revenge on behalf of my brother.”

Byleth stared at her and the words ‘It won’t help’ were on the tip of her tongue when she noticed Annette and Mercedes trying to get her attention. She excused herself and went towards them, realizing the sun was starting to go down once she was out of the Cathedral. She needed to keep a better track of her time.

“Professor!” Annette said, excitedly. Neither Mercedes nor Annette had changed much other than their hair (and improved magical prowess). Annette was still enthusiastic and cheerful and Mercedes calm and centering. 

“See,” Mercedes said. “I told you we should have checked the Cathedral first.”

“She _was_ at the training grounds,” Annette countered and then stuck her lower lip out before turning her attention back to Byleth. “We’ve been looking all over for you!”

“Yes,” Mercedes said. “Annie and I were wondering if it’d be alright to use the Star Terrace tonight.”

“Stargazing?” Byleth asked, confused at the prospect. Neither of them appeared interested in that before.

Mercedes giggled in response.

Annette joined in with a laugh that meant Byleth had missed something. “No! We wanted to have sort of a girl’s only bonding session! Let off a little steam.”

“It would help improve morale,” Mercedes added. “We’ve been so focused on fighting these days there hasn’t been much time to really rest.”

“And we thought the terrace would be perfect since no one goes up there and we wouldn’t have to leave the Monastery. And it’s too far from anything to worry about causing a scene.”

That sounded logical. Sylvain often did the same thing with some of the male troops and it seemed to refresh them the next day, if it didn’t lead to an uncomfortable hangover. Having one for some of the others would be a good idea. 

“That’s a good idea,” Byleth said. Annette beamed at the praise and Mercedes smiled more deeply so that her eyes curved up as well. “I’ll get you the key. I just have to let Seteth and Cyril know you’re not going to use Rhea’s room.”

“Of course not,” Mercedes said. “Annie and I were thinking sort of an adult picnic up there, nothing too rambunctious.”

“A little rambunctious,” Annette said, grinning.

Byleth felt her lips turn up again. “Enjoy yourselves, you’ve earned it.”

Annette and Mercedes frowned suddenly and looked at each other. Annette turned back and stared at Byleth, accusingly. “You don’t want to come?”

Byleth blinked at them both. She hadn’t really considered that they’d been offering her an invitation. 

Mercedes seemed to pick up on this and softly said, “We’d love for you to be there too. You’ve also earned a little rest, don’t you think?”

She’d rested for five years.

“I don’t know,” Byleth said. She’d never really been around people her own age before coming to the Academy and wasn’t sure if she’d be a distraction. She was getting better, but social cues still didn’t come easily. 

“Oh _please_ , Professor?” Annette said, her fingers folded in front of her like a prayer. “It’ll be so much more fun with you there!”

“It’ll also be easier to convince Ingrid,” Mercedes added.

Byleth’s lip turned up again and she nodded. Annette’s enthusiastic cheer still made her feel the same as it had five years ago. 

***

Seteth had not changed even a little. He frowned at her, huffed, but then gave her the key with a stiff warning. “I do not want to see anything on the terrace knocked over. Everything should be in perfect order afterwards. We already had that… last incident, which is why I’ve been locking it.”

“That was months ago,” Byleth reminded him, putting the key away. “And it was Sylvain.”

“Isn’t it always,” Seteth muttered.

“Hello, Byleth!” Flayn said cheerfully. The way Flayn hadn’t changed over five years felt familiar in a way Byleth still couldn’t pin down. “What are you two speaking of?”

“Mercedes and Annette are organizing a… small gathering on the terrace,” Byleth said. That was how she’d phrased it to Seteth. “Did you want to join? It is a ‘girl’s night out’ according to Annette.”

Flayn's entire face lit up brightly and she hopped up on one foot. “Oh! I would love to. I have never had a chance to attend such an event, but I’ve always wanted to.”

“Absolutely not,” Seteth said.

Flayn frowned up at him and her voice lowered in annoyance. “Brother!”

“No,” Seteth said. “These are adult women, who will likely be… discussing inappropriate things that you do not need to be subjected to.”

“I am not a child!” Flayn protested.

“You most certainly are!” Seteth calmed a little after that and tilted his head towards her. “Flayn, be reasonable. You remember what occurred the last time you went to such a gathering.”

“That was years ago!” Flayn objected. “This is the Heron Ball all over again!” 

“And what happened at the ball?” Seteth said, gesticulating his annoyance. “You were accosted by that giant brute of a student, Raphael.”

“He was merely _talking_ to me!”

Byleth decided that if they’d figure this out, Flayn knew where to find them, but had overheard enough ‘sibling’ exchanges as it was. She mouthed, ‘sorry’ at Flayn and went to find Annette and Mercedes.

Ingrid, Dorothea, and Manuela ended up joining them. Anna only came for a moment. The merchant brought an apology for not being able to stay and a fairly high quality whiskey to go with the much cheaper alcohol that Manuela and Dorothea brought.

“Oh it’s been ages since I’ve gotten to relax like this,” Manuela said. “Sure, the knights are handsome, but they are also so boring and stiff.”

“I thought stiff was what you were looking for,” Dorothea said, taking a sip of the drink in her hand. 

Ingrid turned red and sputtered next to her. “Dorothea!”

“Ingrid, darling, relax,” Dorothea said, and reached for one of the clear alcohols. She topped off Ingrid’s drink. “It’s only us girls.”

Mercedes nodded and Ingrid looked around, settling her eyes on Byleth as if she wanted her approval to gossip. Byleth was enjoying the whiskey, but gave her the nod anyway. She probably wanted the excuse of permission. It wasn’t as if Byleth hadn’t heard worse. Growing up around mercenaries, she’d turned that kind of talk into white noise.

Ingrid took a sip of her drink and flushed more when Dorothea preened at her for doing so. “I didn’t really do this much.”

“You have only brothers, right?” Dorothea asked.

Ingrid nodded. “Yes and even if they were sisters, our age differences don’t lend well to these kinds of social engagements.”

“I always wanted a sister,” Annette said with a sigh. The alcohol had gotten to her a bit more quickly than anyone expected, so she was sprawled on the floor, leaning against Mercedes. “Mercie will you be my sister?”

Mercedes smiled at her. “Of course, Annie.” 

“They’re overrated,” Manuela said before finishing off her drink and going for another. She pointed at Byleth and spoke with the drink tipped towards her mouth incomprehensibly. Then she lowered it. “Do you have siblings? I feel like I know nothing about you.” 

Byleth shook her head. “No. It was only me and my father.” 

There was an awkward quiet over the conversation and Byleth regretted bringing it up. She hadn’t meant to ruin their good mood. Dorothea quickly smoothed it over, “Who cares about siblings? Let’s talk about romance! Professor, did you have any sordid affairs before coming to the Monastery?”

Byleth didn’t understand the question, but was saved from saying that by Ingrid’s chastising Dorothea. “You can’t ask the Professor that!”

“We’re all friends here!” Dorothea said.

“She’s right,” Annette said. “This is the sacred oath of girl’s night. We can share whatever we want and it’ll never leave this terrace.”

Mercedes nodded and Manuela lifted her glass. “I’ll drink to that.”

Byleth sipped at her whiskey and smiled. 

The deeper they got into their cups, the more the conversation seemed to turn in the direction of romance and the allusions to sex became much less veiled. Byleth’s tolerance for alcohol was fairly high so she was happy to be silent and listen to them sharing their stories.

“A boy tried to court me at my Uncle’s,” Annette said. “He was… handsome, I guess, but I don’t think I’m interested in that.”

“Boys?” Ingrid asked. 

Annette shrugged, leaning back against the bottom of the statue where she’d relocated after falling off Mercedes a few times. “I think maybe anyone! I like the _idea_ of romance, but when it comes to the kissing and everything else…” She made a face as if she’d tasted something sour. “Bleck.”

“Bleck?” Dorothea asked with a laugh. She was sprawled on the ground, rising up only by her elbow. 

“I don’t know!” Annette flustered and then put her drink aside. “I don’t think I ever want to do that kind of thing.” 

“And you don’t have to,” Manuela said, holding an empty bottle like a child to her chest. “Believe me, it’s better without it. These men are… well I thought that maybe there’d be some husband candidates here, but even five years later and it’s all—” She gestured vaguely.

Mercedes hummed, looking slightly flushed from her own drink, but otherwise still upright. “I think we were talking about sex, not marriage.”

“Oh, there’s plenty of candidates for that,” Manuela said. She started listing them off and then eventually started slurring her words. She let out a long sigh before leaning back on the floor and closing her eyes. Byleth was fairly certain she’d fallen asleep. 

“Did you ever think about anyone here?” Dorothea asked.

Mercedes smiled. “Sometimes. There are a lot of attractive people here. There were when we were in school too.” She tilted her head. “Sylvain’s very handsome, I think. If only he were less…” She brought her eyebrows down and squinted trying to figure the word.

“Sylvain,” Ingrid provided, which seemed to work. 

“He’s certainly got a reputation for being good at it,” Dorothea said, rolling her eyes. Then she looked to Byleth and smiled. “How did you scare him off for a week anyway?”

“Called his bluff,” Byleth said. Sylvain had been annoyingly persistent that week about specifically getting her to go out with him, rather than the casual flirting that had become background noise. She was so tired of it she asked him if he wanted to do a list of explicit things she’d heard growing up around mercenaries and he’d spooked so bad he ran off. 

“I suppose Sylvain and Felix are both handsome,” Ingrid said, “but I know far too much about both of them that ruins it.”

“Felix is handsome,” Annette agreed. “But only sometimes, when he’s not being scary.”

“When is that?” Dorothea asked with a snort.

“When he doesn’t think he needs to be defensive,” Mercedes said, then added. “I don’t think it’s fair we’re leaving out Ashe and Dedue from this evaluation.”

Ingrid choked on her drink and Dorothea and Annette laughed boisterously. 

“Ashe is sweet,” Dorothea said after she stopped laughing. “Dedue’s very hard to talk to, but once you crack that nut he’s not bad, but I don’t think I could take either of them seriously in that regard.”

“Ashe is handsome too,” Annette said. “Dedue is… very tall. It’s hard to see his face so I don’t know if I can say yes or no, but he’s nice!”

“Do we have to objectify our friends?” Ingrid asked, pained.

“Yes!” Dorothea said, while Mercedes and Annette nodded in agreement.

“I am certain they’ve done it to us,” Dorothea said. “One of Sylvain’s nights out, ranking all the women in order of how quickly he’d want to get their skirt off.”

“I don’t think the others would participate in that,” Byleth said. The soldiers maybe, but Ashe, Dedue, and Felix? Not likely.

“How about you, Professor?” Dorothea asked, teasing. “Any lascivious thoughts about the handsome men—or the beautiful women around here?”

“No,” Byleth said. Dorothea groaned in disappointment which made her feel like she’d ruined the mood again. 

“What about Claude?” Annette asked. “You two were pretty cosy at the ball all those years ago.”

There was a catch in Byleth’s chest thinking about that night, but it wasn’t about Claude. “He’s a good dancer,” she said. And hopefully a good ally.

“Claude!” Dorothea said, leaning back and falling onto her back. “So effortlessly charming, and that stocky build. I would not have said no, if he wanted a new Lady Riegan. If only I could find someone that attractive to marry!” 

“You will,” Ingrid said, patting her leg from where she was leaning against the edge of the fountain. “Maybe even for love.”

Dorothea scoffed and stared up at the night sky. “It’s a shame His Highness is so out of sorts. He’s certainly grown these past few years. I think with a very thorough bath and brushing his hair, he’s probably devastatingly attractive.”

“I know too much about Dimitri too,” Ingrid said, then opened her eyes wide and squeaked. “I mean His Highness.”

“Do you think you could love His Highness?” Annette asked Dorothea suddenly.

“Not in his current state,” Dorothea said and then looked considering. “But maybe if he were more like the well-mannered boy he was in school.”

“Not always well-mannered,” Ingrid muttered and took another sip.

Byleth tried to hide her smile at that with a sip, but Mercedes had caught her. “He was very obviously enamored by the Professor then. I’m not sure you would have had a chance.”

“This is all hypothetical,” Dorothea said, waving her off. 

“Enamored?” Byleth couldn’t help ask.

Annette looked at her with the same expression she had when Byleth had incorrectly assumed she wasn’t invited. “You didn’t notice?”

“Notice what?” Byleth asked.

Mercedes tilted her head, giving Byleth the kind of examining look she usually did when she was assessing for injuries. “He was always so quick to help.”

“And the staring!” Annette said.

“Oh,” Dorothea said, as if she was remembering. “The puppy dog eyes. I forgot.”

Ingrid winced. “He was a little… too observant.”

“Treasonous,” Dorothea teased and Ingrid swatted at her, but she only laughed. 

“He didn’t say anything,” Byleth said. 

Except at the Goddess tower, when he’d told her it was only a joke. It hadn’t felt like a joke. She’d had a warm feeling in her stomach, almost like something was trapped and fluttering against her insides. It came back to her now as she thought of that night.

“He couldn’t,” Mercedes said. “With all that was going on, none of us truly had time for that sort of thing and you were our teacher.”

“Mostly,” Annette said and then turned a little too hard towards Byleth, falling on her elbow—she decided to stay like that and pointed at Byleth with her free hand. “Now you’re our friend!”

Byleth didn’t hide this smile. They continued with their conversation, although it soon shifted to other things, such as who would be a good match for Sylvain and Dedue — and who could put up with Felix. 

Byleth tried to listen, but she kept thinking about the night of the ball…

She’d been overwhelmed by requests to dance (something Sothis could not stop teasing her about) and only wanted to escape the crowds, but also part of her had been a little upset since the promise to meet five years later. She’d only gotten to know the Blue Lions and be friends, as Annette said, but they were going to leave after graduation. She had been thrown into the Professor position after a life of wandering and fighting—she’d never had friends before and wasn’t sure what to do after she knew how it felt having them. They never did graduate, but she’d still been away from them for five years. 

Dimitri had been outside as well after she’d escaped. The night air had been chilled, but it didn’t bother her so much until they got up to the Goddess Tower. She couldn’t remember who thought of going there.

When Dimitri had suggested they wish to be together forever—Byleth wanted to agree. Then he’d said he was joking and there was an uncomfortable feeling in her chest that killed the fluttering.

She thought about waking up after five years and how she’d found him again—still at Garreg Mach, but so different and so broken down. It felt like her fault. 

Out of all of them, Dimitri was the one that had changed the most. Byleth hated it. And everyone kept asking her to fix it, likely because they thought he’d been enamored by her too. She wished that were true. She wished there was _something_ she could say that would get Dimitri to look at her like he’d done before. 

That uncomfortable feeling in her chest all those years ago was back again. Even downing the rest of the whiskey didn’t help. It stayed deep in the center of her chest—all the way up through the conversations winding down and then even still as she helped everyone get back to their rooms. 

Byleth knew it was late and thought she should probably go to sleep herself, but she walked to the Cathedral again. Her boots clicked against the stone, echoing in the silence of night.

Dimitri was in the exact same position she’d seen him in hours ago. He was staring at nothing, unmoving. 

“Do you remember the Heron Ball?” she asked. There was no reaction. “That night in the tower, you said… you said you wished—”

“I know what I said,” Dimitri said, harshly. It was quieter than his normal snap, but he didn’t turn towards her. “I don’t want to reminisce.”

“I didn’t think you were joking,” Byleth continued anyway. “And I didn’t mind.”

Dimitri bent his head forward, but he didn’t respond. His gaze was on the floor, but whatever was it in was covered by the hair hanging down. It was so much longer now. She felt the irrational urge to push it back for him. 

“Everyone thinks I can get through to you,” Byleth said. It felt like she was talking to herself at this point. “If I could go back in time, standing in that tower again—I think I’d wish for that to be true.”

Dimitri had been holding on to _Areadbhar_ since Rodrigue had delivered it to him. He gripped it hard and used it to push himself up to full towering height. Then he walked away from her, deeper into the Cathedral where moonlight didn’t touch the shadows.

Byleth was tired. Her chest still ached. She waited several deep breaths before she turned to leave. Then she stopped, hesitating at what was left of the entrance. Everything was different now. Everyone was different now. 

Byleth was starting to feel like that was true for her as well.

She heard a noise behind her, either footsteps or one of the cats scurrying, but there wasn’t any noise afterwards and she couldn’t bring herself to turn and see the empty hall. 

Byleth walked back to her room. She needed to sleep, but her notes were still at her desk for the attack, and tomorrow was a free day. Maybe she’d sleep in. 

Maybe it’d be different tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> surprising no one, manuela, annette, and ingrid are _very_ hungover the next day


End file.
